Self-care for teens and tweens is an incredibly important life skill that they will utilize not just as young people but their whole lives. It’s so important to dive into what self-care activities work for each of us, so that we have different things in our self care tool belt when we need them!
Self Care for Teens and Tweens
If you scroll social media, “self-care” looks like bubble baths, candles, and a face mask session. But self-care for teens and tweens, real self-care is deeper than that. It’s about building healthy behaviors, recognizing emotions and the root cause of stress, and finding the best ways to rest and recharge that actually work.
Our kids are growing up in a world that’s busier and noisier than ever. With a busy schedule of school, sports and activities, friendships, and social media use , they’re under constant pressure — and they need tools to manage it. Self-care isn’t just about relaxing; it’s how they learn to take care of their emotional health for life.
Self-care is an important component to making healthy choices, including those around peer pressure and underage drinking. Really, we are building lifelong skills that have a positive impact on health, wellness, development and emotional well being.
Healthy self-care and an awareness of emotional well being are a significant part of handling stress and peer pressure. I’m teaming with with Ask, Listen, Learn….an amazing support and resource for parents, teachers and teens themselves. They have hands on resources, videos and guides to teen self-care, and ways to support emotional well being that are easy to understand and free for all users.
Their resources helped me to put together a step by step guide outlining important self-care tips for teens and tweens.
These are small steps to help your tween or teen discover what self-care really means — and how to make it part of their everyday life long term.
1. Discuss What “Self-Care” Means
For tweens and teens, self-care isn’t about lavish spa days or complicated routines — it’s aboutsmall, daily choices that support emotional balance.
You can define it together as:
“Self-care is anything that helps you feel calmer, stronger, or more like yourself again.”
That simple definition is a great reminder that self-care to look different for everyone. Some of us reset by journaling, some by a physical activity like shooting hoops (or running my case), and some by blasting their favorite playlist. The important thing is helping them notice what works.
2. Create a “Self-Care Menu”
Sit down together and brainstorm ideas. Ask questions like:
- “What helps you feel calm when you’re upset?”
- “What do you love doing when you need to clear your head?”
- “What makes you feel happy or proud?”
Then, group ideas into three categories:
Move Your Body
- Walk the dog, dance, stretch, or try yoga.
- Play a sport or go for a solo run. Finding a regular exercise option that brings joy can be a game changer!
- Move for how it feels, not how it looks. Physical health is connected to mental health!
Get Outside
- Watch a sunset, read outdoors, or take photos of nature.
- Visit a park, beach, or hiking trail.
- Try a five-minute “fresh air break” between homework and dinner. A short or long walk can make a huge difference.
Rest and Reset
- Take short naps, listen to calming music, or journal.
- Practice mindfulness or guided breathing.
- Spend quiet time with pets, art, or cozy blankets.
- Focus on getting 8-10 hours of sleep (getting enough sleep is KEY)
- Minimize screen time
Next? We test these ideas and notice what actually recharges us.
Talk it Out
• Catch up talks: set regular check ins about big and little things happening in your tween and teen’s life
• Non-verbal communication: a shared journal is a great way to discuss sensitive topics if talking doesn’t feel quite right
3. Build a Simple “Reset Routine”
Kids thrive on rhythm. A simple “reset routine” helps them practice self-care automatically and to make it a part of daily life. In a perfect world, we work something from our self-care menu into our reset routine.
After-School Reset:
- Snack and hydrate
- Ten minutes of quiet (journal, stretch, or listen to music)
- Go outside or move body
Weekend Recharge:
- Social time (friend or family connection)
- One creative project
- One rest activity (reading, baking, or cozy movie night)
The goal isn’t perfection — it’s consistency….so that we can recharge our emotional batteries.
4. Make Self-Care a Family Habit
Self-care sticks when the whole family practices it.
Try adding family rituals and routines that support rest and connection:
- Sunday screen-free dinner + walk
- Gratitude jars (“one good thing” each night)
- Family music nights or cozy mornings
- Beach walks or hikes
When kids see us adults model self-care, it becomes part of their normal — not something to feel guilty about or something we only tap into during hard times .
5. Know When to Ask for Help
Help comes in many forms: from adult and parent support to professional support. Regular openand honest conversations are the baseline. We want our tweens and teens to know that we are here, and to have established trust for the hard moments.
Sometimes, self-care and making small changes isn’t enough. If your child seems persistently anxious, sad, or withdrawn, professional support can help with mental health challenges and strategies for managing stress.
Normalize it like this:
“Just like we go to the doctor for a cold, sometimes we need help for our thoughts or feelings too.”
Therapy and mental health support teach tweens and teens coping skills they’ll use for life — and it’s one of the most powerful forms of real self-care.
6. Talk Openly About Choices: Ask, Listen, Learn
An often-overlooked part of self-care for teens and tweens? Learning to make smart, healthy decisions — especially around peer pressure and alcohol.
Programs like Ask, Listen, Learn (from Responsibility.org) are built to help families start honest, age-appropriate conversations about alcohol and other risky behaviors (like use of illegal drugs). Their message is simple and science-based:
- Ask your kids what they already know and how they feel about alcohol.
- Listen to their answers without judgment — this keeps communication open.
- Learn together about how alcohol affects the developing brain and why waiting until 21 is so important.
When we empower kids with knowledge and a safe space to talk, we’re not just preventing underage drinking — we’re teaching them how to make confident, informed choices that protect their mental and physical health.
Avoiding underage drinking is a form of self-care because it’s about respecting your body and brain and finding a better way to cope. Kids who understand that alcohol can interfere with sleep, mood, focus, and emotional regulation are more likely to make healthy choices when faced with pressure.
This is also a chance to model what it looks like to handle stress in healthy ways — showing that family members use coping tools like exercise, hobbies, or community, not alcohol, to manage tough days.
If you’re not sure how to start the conversation, the Ask, Listen, Learn website offers free videos, lesson plans, and conversation guides designed for families of tweens and teens.
Real self-care for tweens and teens isn’t about perfection — it’s about awareness, balance, and making thoughtful choices that make a big difference over time.
From journaling and movement to honest conversations about alcohol and mental health, these tools help our kids navigate stress reduction , relationships, and responsibility with confidence.
Start with one small action this week: make a self-care menu, watch an Ask, Listen, Learn video, or simply check in with your child after school.
Because when our kids learn to care for themselves — physically, emotionally, and socially — they’re not just surviving adolescence. They’re building a foundation for a healthy, resilient adulthood.
