A recent conversation at the playground inspired this post. As I chatted with another mom, she casually said that she had a hard time finding mom friends since most of the moms she meets are “old moms”. My birthday is next week. And I'll be 37. So, if you do the math…..I was almost 35 when Lydia was born. What does that mean? I'm pretty sure I fall into the “old mom” category (advanced maternal age if we're using medical terms).
So, the more I turned this over and over in my mind as Lydia and I walked home…….the stronger I felt. Here's the deal……my husband and I met when I was 31 years old. We dated for less than a year, and got married. After a year of marriage, we decided to expand our family (after all, we weren't getting any younger). One miscarriage and many fruitless attempts later……we have one perfect daughter. And honestly? I wouldn't change that timeline if I could. Why? Because our family is exactly what we wanted. Because Lydia arrived at the perfect time for all of us. Because she was prayed for and longed for and I was ready for her and that worked for US.
Do I worry that if we have another child, I'll be older? That there will be additional risks? That I will easily tire, have a harder time recovering from birth (in my case it will probably be a c-section again), that my children will have to deal with aging parents at a younger age than their peers? YES. Of course I worry about these things. But you know what comes with age? A sense of peace. Knowing who you are. Confidence in your decisions.Mommy: / leggings c/o Albion Fit / tee c/o Loved by Hannah and Eli / sneakers /
Lydia: / leggings c/o Albion Fit / tee c/o Loved by Hannah and Eli / sneakers /
While I may only have been a parent for two and half years, I've been a teacher working closely with families for fourteen years. And the one thing I constantly remind myself? Every family is different. And the happiest children? Are a part of family units that have done what works for THEM. Our goal as parents is to meet the needs of our children, right? To create a warm, nurturing environment where our kids will thrive…..and grow to be happy and healthy adults. So for me that meant, some time for us to be married and some time to recover from a miscarriage. And we are all better for it.So, what do I WISH I'd said to the girl at the park? I wish I'd said that there are a lot of things that I consider when looking for mom friends, but their age certainly isn't one of them. I look for women that love their babies with a passion. I look for women that are willing to dig in the sandbox with their little ones. I look for women who may be a little tired or a little frazzled, but who are doing motherhood with joy in their hearts and a smile on their faces. Because the reality is mamas, whether we had our babies at the age of 24, 34, of 44…….we were darn lucky to have them.
So I challenge you mamas, the next time you spot a mom at the park who may be a bit outside of your normal mom friend circle……smile and say hello. Whether she's older or younger than you, or parenting a child with special needs or clearly has just left the office and is trying to get an hour in with her kiddo before doing it all again the next day……she's a mom just like you and could probably use a friend (and a cup of coffee). In celebration of moms everywhere……Lydia and I are wearing our favorite “mom uniform”…….yoga pants. But these mommy and me leggings by Albion Fit? They're adorable, and perfect for a day filled with playdates and errands. We are teaming up with Albion Fit to give one of YOU a $50 gift card…..so that you can buy your own adorable mom uniform for yourself or a mom you love!