[…] out how my friend Carly & Hilary styled their Espadrilles! How Carly styled Espadrilles How Hilary styled […]
Positive Body Image…..a lot easier said that done, RIGHT? Once I had a daughter, I was on a mission to be a better role model….despite my own struggles with body image. I'm sharing 10 things I did to stop hating my body, each made a HUGE difference!
/ shirt via Stitchfix / shorts / necklace / espadrilles /
pictures by Mily Cooper Photography
This is probably ironic coming from a “style blogger”. But I have a HORRIBLE body image. I know, you're wondering….why in the world would you choose to put pictures of yourself out there all the time. And honestly, I ask myself the same question constantly.
I remember the first time someone told me I had “thunder thighs”. I was 14. I remember the first time I realized that I wasn't comfortable in a bathing suit (age 12). I have hypothyroidism, a disease which among other things….slows your metabolism. I've struggled with weight gain since puberty, and as a result…..have a not-so-great relationship with the number on the scale and the size on my jeans label.
I've yo-yo dieted, eliminated carbs, spent hours a day exercising, and while those things have been effective….they just aren't sustainable. I'm a mom, with a full time job, and my priority? Isn't being the smallest pants size I can be. But one of my biggest priorities? To not pass this insecurity on to my own daughter.
I realize that children learn by example, and over the last few months…..I realized I was setting a pretty poor one. I made it my goal to improve my own body image. After a lot of trial and error, I wanted to share some of the things that helped.
1. List of physical attributes: Everyday for 3 weeks, I wrote down one thing I liked about my appearance. I kept this list in my phone. Whenever I started that negative internal dialog…..I read the list.
2. Exercise for health, not weight loss: I want to be clear, I am still focusing on being healthy. I believe that's important. But I shifted my focus from weight loss or shrinking my thighs to being the healthiest version of myself.
3. Positive Role Models: You know those friends you body bash with? You spend an hour complaining about how big your thighs are and then saying that your own are worse than theirs. Yup, I worked on NOT doing that. I spent more time with my friends who celebrated themselves. It gave me a positive outlook.
4. Get Rid of Clothes that Don't Fit: Anything that didn't fit? GONE. What's the point of trying to squeeze into five year old pants from before I had a baby? There isn't one.
5. Flattering Clothes Only: I spent some time figuring out what cuts look best on me. (Tight shorts? NOT cute.) And guess what, that's all I even try on. This has TOTALLY changed my perspective. Everyone has a body type. I just work with mine instead of against it. I've also started letting my Stitch Fix stylist select pieces that are flattering to my body type…..the advice of a professional stylist? Has made all the difference!
6. Complimenting Other Women: Positivity breeds positivity. I found that the more I complimented other women in my life, the more complimentary I was to myself.
7. Taking Pictures: This may sound totally counterintuitive, but taking style pictures for the blog has become a confidence booster. I'm lucky, I work with some wonderful photographers. And I've been able to see the contrast between pictures where I look happy and confident vs uncomfortable and shy. If you're not a blogger, I suggest setting up a photo session. Just you, you and you kids, a couple's shoot…..having those beautiful pictures to look at? Makes a difference.
8. Finding Celebrities That Look Like Me: We all look at a magazines, movies, and television. Instead of lusting after skinny thighs and bikinis……I spent some time finding “beautiful people” that looked like me. In fact, I created an entire secret Pinterest board of them.
9. Morning Compliments with My Daughter: Each morning before the day begins, my daughter and I sit together and give each other compliments. “You look beautiful.” “I am proud of you.” The best? The weekend mornings when I sleep in, and I wake up to her and my husband staring at me (drool and all)…..her first comment? Always “You look beautiful mama!”.
10. Find accessories that put a little pep in my step: Shoes? They have nothing to do with body type. These espadrilles for instance? They're comfortable, and look great with all those flattering outfits. A total win!
Speaking of compliments…..two of my favorite women (beautiful inside and out) are teaming up with me today. Each of us is showcasing a different way to wear espadrilles……..be sure to check out their takes on this comfy trend!
/ / Taylor's Take on Espadrilles / /
/ / How Hilary Wears Espadrilles / /
Great tips and brave post!! I def have my own issues with food and body image (like too many other women) and it’s a big fear to pass that onto any future daughters I may have. These are great ideas to improve! I’ve def gotten better with age and dressing for your body type really helps. I recommend the book ‘The Science of Sexy’ by Bradley Bayou. It was the first place I ever saw that notion and it has some really awesome insight.
Christie
The Closet by Christie
http://www.theclosetbychristie.com
I just ordered the book, thank you so much for the recommendation!
what an amazing and inspiring post. I struggled for years starving myself to the point of illness all because someone made a comment that I had big calves when I was 13, man the things we do to ourselves. You are a positive inspiration to your beautiful daughter
Linda, thank you SO much for sharing….it’s amazing how those comments effect us, isn’t it?!?
I love the idea of complimenting other women – it really does work! When you try to hate on others, you will become more critical of yourself. I love celebrating women and you doing this post is a step towards that direction. So, thank you for this great read!
Abby | Life in the Fash Lane
Thank YOU, it’s something I feel like we all forget to do!
I love everything about this post! Such great tips!
Thank you Morgan!
so inspiring! thank you for sharing your tips. It’s so important to feel good in your own skin. congrats
Irene
http://www.thedailylace.com
Thanks Irene!
Oh my goodness. I’m so inspired! I don’t think I will ever NOT need these reminders, and these are great ideas of how to be proactive against this struggle.
Thank you so much for sharing this, I’m sharing it with the ladies in my family right now!
Also, I think you are absolutely beautiful in this photoshoot. And I can tell that a lot of it comes from confidence and security in who you are! Love it.
I’m with you, I wrote this post as a reminder to myself too…..it’s a lifelong struggle I think!
Such a fabulous post! I agree with all of it! And in keeping with Number 6: Carly, you are beautiful! These pictures are stunning. And your outfit and shoes are fabulous!
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Aw thank you so much!
this is such a wonderful post!! love the idea of complimenting others and love the espadrilles!
cute & little
kileen
I am very critical of my body image as well and try not to point out my negative self image when my son is around, they really do pick up on these things.
Great post!
Thank you for joining TBT Fashion link up and hope to see you next week. Have a great weekend!
Alice
http://www.happinessatmidlife.com
Great post! I love that positivity breeds positivity. It’s so true! Super cute pictures and love your shoes!
http://www.mylittlenest.org
Two things:
1) You’re beautiful.
2) Where did you get that cool thing you are sitting in???
Thanks for the great post. I too suffer from feeling like I have to attain this certain body – after 3 kids. I now have a daughter who is 2 and it really is becoming more apparent to me that the things I do and say could affect her own self image someday and I definitely don’t want that.
Wow I loved reading this and am going to share it on like all my social media accounts! Such a great way to use a fashion blog to promote positivity and talk about something that so many people struggle with! I’m going to take these tips and implement them in my own life.
Nina
aworldofdresses.com
Great post!! It is something that is hard to overcome. Glad your finding ways to push those thought aside, after all your a beautiful mama 🙂
Thank you for linking up with Weekend Wear, have a great weekend
xo
Melissa
Having a daughter impacted me in the same way. I choose to view my body as an awesome baby-making machine, and these wide hips made birthing them so much easier. 😉 (My doctor did indeed tell me I had good birthing hips… Lol.)
Wow! I was just looking for Thanksgiving day recipes and found your awesome blog. I have had three kids and I have struggled with the urge to lose the weight as quick as I could and strived for a model-type body. I am sill trying to accept that my stomach will never be the same but the rest is fine. 🙂
Stichfix.com is great and I’m having fun with their fashion tips and not worrying about fitting into old clothes ANYMORE!!
I will also be making the sweet potato casserole of yours tomorrow!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
I am obsessed with this. You are freaking gorgeous! And you sound like an amazing mom — love the morning compliment routine! Keep doing you, girl! XooX
Girl, you wear that look well. Fits you so nicely. I am loving all the colors so much. Perfect for the upcoming spring. Great pictures by the way. I really love the look. And wear it with confidence. You are beautiful so don’t think anything less.
So many of us have problems with this. We need to love ourselves and be thankful God gave us beautiful bodies in his eyes. There is something beautiful about each of us. We also need to learn to like and love ourselves for who we were made to be. Thank you for sharing this great information. God Bless. You look beautiful outside and sound beautiful inside.
I want you to know I’ve just spent about 45 minutes looking at post after post of your clothes for pear shapes (I’m one too) and stitch Fix reviews (for clothes to pin). I’ve had the BEST time. Thank you!!! And this article is my most favorite of all.
Thank you for the inspiration! I too have a daughter (2 year old) and I want her to grow up confident in her own skin. We recently went to the beach with friends and guess what, I wore shorts and a t-shirt over my suit!! I am going to work very hard on your steps with the goal of no cover-up when we go back in August.