Improving Self Confidence in our daughters is a huge part of being a mother. Check out my top tips for making this a natural part of life!

As a mother, one of my biggest goals is to instill a strong sense of confidence in Lydia.  Time and time again, I am reminded of how hard it is to work on improving self confidence in our daughters.  I see the students I teach slowly LOSE the confidence they had in kindergarten and first grade.  I watch as society’s views of women creep into their brains, and they start to question the innocent confidence that they were born with.  

I’ve been trying to add small actions and routines to our everyday.  Small simple tasks or conversations that will help my daughter in improving (and maintaining) her self confidence.

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Improving Self Confidence in Our Daughters: 7 Simple Tips

1. Complimenting Other Women and Accepting Compliments with Grace: What makes you more aware of your own strengths? Identifying strengths in those around you.  Challenge your daughter (and yourself) to compliment 3 women a day.  And for a bonus? Practice how to ACCEPT a compliment.  How often do we negate compliments out of our own insecurity? A simple, “Thank you for noticing!” goes a long way.
2. No Need to Compete: Talk about other women as allies, comrades, tribe members, friends…..not competitors.  Nothing feeds insecurity like competition.  Why do you have to be the BEST? Can’t you just be great? Allow room for many great women to flourish.  My toddler has recently grasped the concept of the BEST.  I was horrified when she told me that she was the PRETTIEST girl in her class.  While a part of me was proud that she was confident, I felt like she had gotten the wrong message.  Why can’t ALL the girls in her class be pretty? Each in their own way?
3. Find Heroines to Relate To: From Belle in Beauty and the Beast to Amelia Earheart to Michelle Obama……help your daughter find a woman she relates to.  Do they look alike? Have a similar family structure? Have the same disability or struggle? Let them see, that they can shine too!
4. Model Confidence in Yourself: You are your daughters greatest role model.  When you model self confidence (even if it’s hard) you are showing them how important it is to celebrate yourself.
5. Daily Proud Moment: Each evening, sit down and take turns sharing something YOU did that day that you are proud of.  Focus on behaviors, not outward appearance or personality traits.  Did you learn a new skill? Run a little faster than you did the day before? Celebrate THAT!
6. Focus on Growth and Progress, Not Perfection: The pursuit of perfection will ultimately lead to extreme insecurity.  Are any of us perfect? Of course not!  Focus on progress, steps in the right directions, and small victories.  Focus on the PROCESS of working towards a goal.  Do you value hard work? Or value winning? Teach your daughter to gain confidence in her ability to work towards a goal successfully.
7. Talk about Insecurities and How to Address Them:  We all have insecurities.  They’re a part of being human.  Without them, we’d be horrible people.  Openly discuss your OWN insecurities and the healthy ways you address them.  What helps YOU accept your own flaws?

So mamas, tell us……what are your TIPS? What is helping your own daughter in improving self confidence?