• ABOUT CARLY
  • CONTACT CARLY
  • FASHION
  • BODY POSITIVITY
  • GIRL POWER
  • SD LIFE
  • DISNEY
  • TRAVEL
  • HIGHLIGHTS

Lipgloss and Crayons

LA Life

8 Things I Want to Say To My Friends Who Don’t Have Kids

  • SHARE ON FACEBOOK
  • SHARE ON TWITTER
  • SHARE ON PINTEREST

All moms have them.  Your friends that don't have kids yet.  And we all have a few things we'd like to share with them, right?  Here are eight things I want to say to my friends who don't have kids.

All moms have them. Your friends that don't have kids yet. And we all have a few things we'd like to share with them, right? 8 things I want to say to my friends who don't have kids.whatiwore

// top c/o The Mint Julep Boutique / shorts / necklace / sandals //

pictures by Cindy Green Photography

tie-dye-tunic5

Before I go any further, I want to share.  I WAS THAT FRIEND.  I'm 36 (almost 37) years old with a two and a half year old.  My husband and I met when I was a couple years into my thirties.  So, I was that friend.  The single friend who watched her girlfriends get married and have children while I was still going to happy hour, telling horrible first date stories, and going to weddings without a date.  I've tried to remember what that felt like as we expanded our family…..but I do look back, and wish my friends who had children before me had just said a few things directly.

tie-dye-tunicI'm not trying to turn my back on you or our friendship.  I do care, in fact…..I care more than ever.  I'm just adjusting to a world where a human is totally dependent upon me.  And my husband? I'm trying to not ignore him.  And a shower? Hopefully those are happening.  I promise, I have not forgotten you.  I'm just trying to figure out what all my old relationships look like in the context of this new one.tie-dye-tunic2

This is awesome and awful at the same time.  I need a safe place to vent.  And I'm afraid to vent to you, because I don't want you to think I don't love my baby.  So, I naturally gravitate towards other moms.  They just get it.  tie-dye-tunic9

You have a special place in my heart.  You know ME.  Just me.  The me that drank too many margaritas on Cinco de Mayo.  The me that cried after that asshat broke up with me (when I really should have dumped him).  The me that moved to a new city, made new friends, and started a career.  The reality is, you've seen me thrive in a million circumstances (probably more than my husband since I've known you longer)…..and while you may not totally get what I'm doing these days……you are the one who will remind me I can thrive in motherhood too.

tie-dye-tunic11

I GET IT.  It's not fair.  The truth is, you're giving more than I am in this friendship right now.  But I promise, this will shift.  I will give as much as I can to you.  And I'll remember how much you gave to me.

All moms have them. Your friends that don't have kids yet. And we all have a few things we'd like to share with them, right? 8 things I want to say to my friends who don't have kids.I still want to hear about your life.  The first dates.  Your engagement.  Wedding plans.  Career goals.  I still want to know.  It may seem like I'm not listening.  But I am.  And I care.  A lot.

Please be gentle with me.  And know that I'm moving mountains sometimes to just meet for dinner.  Every family's dynamic is different.  But for most new moms……getting out to see a friend is a BIG deal.  It takes a lot of planning, and can be a little nerve racking.  So, I know that I asked for us to have dinner at 6 pm when we normally met at 8.  I know that I had one drink instead of my usual two.  I know that I left my phone out on the table and glanced at it every thirty seconds.  But I'm trying my BEST.  

tie-dye-tunic10Thank you.  Thank you for pretending that you're interested in my sleep training debates.  Or my reports about how my kid is nursing.  I know, I remember the listening.  And thinking…..that I had absolutely nothing to say in return.  So I know that you're listening because you care about me.All moms have them. Your friends that don't have kids yet. And we all have a few things we'd like to share with them, right? 8 things I want to say to my friends who don't have kids.To my friends who had children before me…..thank you.  And I get it now.  I get how huge it was that you came to my 30th birthday for the weekend.  And my bachelorette party.  And my wedding.  And that you still called, even if it was less often.  And to my friends who don't have children…….thank you for being patient with me.  I promise, you are still my first call or text…..they just happen less often.  And I promise, when you have children to be gentle with you (and to try to not say I told you so).
All moms have them. Your friends that don't have kids yet. And we all have a few things we'd like to share with them, right? 8 things I want to say to my friends who don't have kids.

 

 

  • SHARE ON FACEBOOK
  • SHARE ON TWITTER
  • SHARE ON PINTEREST

life as mom

0
9 Comments

Subscribe to L&C Weekly!

Reader Interactions

Leave a Comment Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comments

  1. Christie says

    June 1, 2016 at 7:29 pm

    Great post! As that single and child-less friend, I appreciate this post! Sometimes it can be so tough to really walk in someone else’s shoes and your tips here can really be applied to many different life circumstances. I’m in my late twenties and it’s such a difficult age because so much is uncertain and my friends that I always had so much in common with are now in different phases of life. I admit- sometimes when I’m sitting in 2-hours of bumper to bumper traffic and heating up a lean cuisine, I look at my stay-at-home-mom friends and think ‘nice life!’ But the truth is, no path is easier than another. My single, full-time worker life isn’t easy either! That’s what I’d love to tell my friends that are parents. My life isn’t easier or less busy because I don’t have a child or husband. Commuting, working 40+ hours a week, and blogging is a difficult balancing act.

    Lovely, thought provoking post!

    Christie
    The Closet by Christie

    Reply
    • carly says

      June 1, 2016 at 9:12 pm

      That was TOTALLY me! It was a rough time, I felt like everyone else was in a different place……….and no one understood where I was coming from! And yes, all that IS a lot!

      Reply
  2. Megan @NoSmallLife says

    June 6, 2016 at 2:50 am

    Thank you for this. I am “that friend.” 🙂 And it was so beautifully and humbly articulated. I really appreciated your tone because it was so gentle. As “that friend,” I care about what’s going on in your world so much. I often don’t know how to add to the conversation because our lives feel so different at times. But just knowing that our friendship is still valuable to you at this stage of your life means the world. 🙂 Hopefully all of your “that friends” will offer you grace & commitment. 🙂 Really appreciated this post today <3

    Reply
    • carly says

      June 6, 2016 at 8:48 am

      Thank you SO much for this megan! I was that friend too, and man was it hard!

      Reply
  3. Ada says

    June 9, 2016 at 7:31 pm

    Hi Carly, I am just a little younger than you. Like you I became a mom in my early thirties. I can so relate to this post. As you know our daughters are very similar in age. I think every day things we did without thinking before like eating (without interruptions), reading a book while enjoying a glass of wine or even things like putting makeup on and showering, all take more time and effort now and sleep – what sleep. The struggle is real. Thanks for writing this honest post and expressing exactly what I feel, too.

    BTW I love the top and sandals! Cute everyday look and very mom-ready, too.

    Have a great weekend! Ada. =)

    Reply
  4. Frugal Hausfrau says

    June 14, 2016 at 9:43 pm

    Great post! I’m afraid I did lose a few friends when my kids were small; but that perhaps says more about them than me!

    Thanks for sharing with us at Throwback Thursday!

    Mollie

    Reply
    • carly says

      June 14, 2016 at 9:59 pm

      SO true!

      Reply
  5. Carl Wright says

    March 4, 2017 at 8:24 am

    The dynamics really do change don’t they? For myself I am at the stage where my own kids are entering this stage where their friends are having kids and they haven’t yet themselves.

    Reply
  6. Shannon Graham says

    April 28, 2017 at 12:19 pm

    I just want to encourage you. I’m “that” friend I suppose, the one who is almost 30 without a child. I’m happily married and have been for a few years. Just because we don’t have children doesn’t mean we don’t understand how hard it is to move schedules around. In fact, my older sister who has two kids seems to have an easier time adding things to her schedule than I do. We know how tough adding in a dinner can be or even a shower. We don’t have to “pretend” to listen and care about your routines with your children because we DO care. We care because we know you’re not pretending to care about the things in our lives that no longer relate to you as well. Just because we don’t have children doesn’t mean we’re not 100% naive to how it changes someone’s world. Give us some credit. 😉

    Reply
Previous The Mom Bathing Suit
Next Everything I Need To Know I Learned From My Toddler

Related Posts

Family Activities: Winter Bucket List

13 Pictures to Take This School Year

10 Indoor Toddler Activities

Sparkling Red Sangria

Instagram post 18119729383052352 ✨THE GIFT OF SELF CARE GIVEAWAY✨
.
I’m super excited to team up with two brands I love to give TWO of you a special gift.  Each winner will receive a one of a kind Nena and Co Bag and a shop credit to La Vie Boheme Yoga (their mats are STUNNING)!
.
To Enter:
1.) Follow @nenaandco @laviebohemeyoga @lipglossandcrayons
2.) Tag your BFF (unlimited entries!)
3.) Double tap the post
.
Open through 12/13 at 5:30pm PST. Best of luck everyone!! ❤️ Must be 18 or older to enter and a US resident. This contest is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram. #nenaandco #giveaway
Instagram post 17847622285777508 ❄️☀️What’s the weather like in your neck of the woods? #ad☀️❄️
.
Ok, now don’t hate me because of our endless summer here in San Diego. Yes, we’ve had some rain and yes it’s cooled down a bit… but it’s still warm enough to BBQ most afternoons and we’re definitely taking advantage. Hey, those California housing prices need to be justified, right!? .
In all seriousness, as a born and raised Californian, I’m proud of our state and love living here. One of my big priorities? Doing everything I can to protect the places and things I love here. One of my goals this year? To use as much clean energy as possible and to help make big changes across our state with simple, small changes in our household. .
Until recently, I had no idea I had access to clean energy already! Did you know it is available through your outlets when the sun is out and the wind is blowing? Which is a lot of the time here in San Diego. Our goal? To use that clean energy as much as possible, and to avoid using energy when everyone else is between 4pm and 9pm. I’m sharing some specific ways we are doing that over in stories. .
Now tell me the truth, is it sunny in your area? Or are you the total opposite of us here in Southern California? .
#Sponsored #KeepItGolden #EnergyUpgradeCA #California #SanDiego @energyupgrade_ca
Instagram post 17854807999687091 🎤Which one is your fav?!?🎤
.
I’ve been dying to make one of these styling videos…..and jeans and a graphic tee seemed like the perfect place to start. These are my three favorite ways to style jeans and a cute tee.  Would you guys like to see more videos like this? I’m sort of considering making them a weekly thing.
.
Now, looking for MORE ideas on how to style a graphic tee? Check these ladies out, they’re sharing THEIR favorite ways to style a graphic tee!
@hairsprayandhighheels
@laurenmdix
@cammeomurray
.
If you’d like to shop the items in the video, the link to them all is in my profile (and my stories).
Instagram post 17913675277369958 🎤 What is your current career? Would you change it if you could?🎤
.
Who am I without teaching? A semester into my first year of NOT being a teacher after 15 years of teaching elementary school…….I’m still working on the answer. And I’m still sort of adjusting.  But it feels less……weird than it did in August.  There are so many things I’ve learned about myself, my approach to work, the identity that teaching gave me, the type of parent I want to be…….let’s just say it’s been a semester of growth.
.
I’ve learned to be more trusting, more flexible (not easy for this type a lesson planning queen). I teamed up with my friends at @intel to share what my days look like now, and how I feel about this transition.  You can read my sappy thoughts over on the blog (the link is in my profile). #sponsored
Instagram post 18089786881121374 🎂 WE DID IT!  Lydia’s birthday party today was a total success!🎂
.
And by success I mean, low stress and a ton of fun.  Remember a couple months ago when I was stressing about her first birthday party in our new hometown? I didn’t know where to have it.  I didn’t even know the kids in her class or who would come.  We visited our local Michaels after a few of you suggested it. And today was her party.  It was GREAT! .
It was a perfect chance to spend time with the parents from her kindergarten class (the moms may or may not have decided we need a happy hour playdate without the kids, ha)…..and it reminded me how grateful we are for the wonderful community we’ve landed in here.  It took a little while to get our feet under us, but it’s starting to feel like home.  Seeing Lydia’s happy smile today made all the hard parts of moving worthwhile.
.
And for those of you who wanted to know our thoughts on a Michaels Birthday Party, I came home and threw together a blog post with all my thoughts…..the link is in my stories and my profile.
Instagram post 18015610570248171 📷 Perfectly posed? Or candid and fun?📷
.
It’s family photo season.  And I feel like we put SO much stress on ourselves to get the “perfect photo”. Fancy outfits, everyone smiling.  But me? That candid moment is my favorite.  Every single time! .
Heres to laughs, bunny ears, and silly faces!
Instagram post 18084955510088537 🎄have you finished decorating yet?🎄
.
We are so excited to celebrate our first Holiday Season in our new home, and I think Lydia is the most excited of all. Full disclosure: I was planning to just share some video of the decorations but she wanted to give “the people in the phone” a tour. You can see all the info on our decor accents in our holiday tour blog post (link is in profile)!
  • Collaborate
  • Speaking
  • Contact Carly
  • PRESS
  • Privacy Policy
  • Fashion
  • Body Positivity
  • Girl Power
  • LA Life
  • Disney
  • Travel
  • Highlights

© 2019 LIPGLOSS AND CRAYONS  |  SITE DESIGN: MLL DESIGN STUDIO  & FUZE BRANDING