Photos by Playful Soul Photography It’s the season for resolutions, right? I know, roll your eyes…..I am too. Resolutions are these well-intended promises that usually lose steam by February. Instead of promising to work out more (although I am promising that too)…..I decided to think about lessons I’ve learned since becoming a mom.
Disclaimer, this is DEFINITELY not a post that is intended to make you think I’m a perfect, have it all together type of mom. In fact, it’s just the opposite. These are things I need to work on. Lessons that I’m still learning and relearning on a daily basis. 10 Resolutions Every Mom Should Make:
Positive Self Talk: I know. You had a baby. And while you may be trying, things just don’t look quite the same. Every time you pull on a pair of old jeans, you start grumbling to yourself about your hips. You look in the mirror and realize that you missed the last two months of necessary hair appointments (to cover the greys that have appeared magically in the last year or so)…..and can’t believe how OLD you look. Here’s the deal, those little ones playing at your feet? They listen. More than we realize. If I do one thing, I will produce a daughter who is more confident than I am. I pray that my daughter grows up with a healthy body image, and an appreciation for her strengths and an ability to laugh at the things she doesn’t love about herself. So, every time I want to curse my appearance? I plan to find one thing I LIKE about it.
Let Daddy be In Charge Too: I get it. As moms, we know. We know their routines, their favorite foods, what makes them melt down at the grocery store. And sometimes, it’s really easy to just do it all yourself. But, two years in…..I’ve realized……my husband is a GREAT dad. He’s more than capable of getting our daughter fed, dressed, napped, and guess what? They even have fun together. He may not do things in the order I would, but does it really matter? It’s important that we have a chance to be in charge, it’s good for our daughter and it’s good for our marriage.
Schedule Do Nothing Days: Once a month (or every other) schedule a DO NOTHING day. I mean nothing. Don’t even shower. No chores. No work. No to do list. No quick trip to the store. Let someone else be with your kids for the day….and sit around your house alone. Enjoy the silence. Watch trashy tv. Eat bon bons. Order takeout. Take a nap. You’ll be a better mom and a better wife at the end of the day. It seems indulgent. But, it’s necessary. And trust me, it won’t all come tumbling down in one day.
Shave Your Legs (or whatever your version of this is): Before having our daughter, I shaved my legs every day. It made me feel prettier. I was prepared for last minute dinner dates, trips to the beach, whatever. And this one minute chore? As silly as it sounds, makes me feel more pulled together. Whatever your thing is…..do it. Blow dry your hair. Get your brows done once a month. Paint your nails. Even if you’re in yoga pants and a tee shirt, you’ll feel better. (Plus you’ll be prepared for those surprise dinner dates that I’m sure are on the horizon)
Date Your Spouse: I’m more than comfortable admitting that this has been a hard one for our little family. We don’t have relatives in Los Angeles, babysitters are expensive, and we have a crazy schedule (my husband works evenings and weekends as a musician). But, our daughter needs to see a strong marriage. We need to HAVE a strong marriage. So, we’ve been strategizing ways to get more dates in. Date night at home? Great. Coffee dates while she’s still at daycare when we can? Yes. Swapping date nights with another couple? Absolutely.
Admit Your Mistakes: As moms, we want to have it all together….right? But, we don’t. Raising tiny humans is HARD. I’m an elementary school teacher, I have a degree in this….and it challenges me every single day. I’ve found that the most powerful thing I can say sometimes is “Mommy made a mistake. But, it’s ok…..we all do. I’m going to do __________ to make it better.” My daughter will make mistakes in her life. Plenty of them. I pray that she knows we will love her regardless, and that she dusts herself off and finds a solution to them.
Be Present: I know. Instagram. Smart phones. Texts to return. Emails. Facebook. Sometimes, it pulls your attention. Your kids are playing happily, and you just want to take a quick peek. I do this more than I care to admit. But those moments? Those are the most important. The everyday ones. We’ll always remember the big trips, the holiday performances, the birthdays. But when my daughter is a teenager hiding from me in her room, I want to remember her playing blissfully with her blocks and waving happily at me across the room.
Ask for Help: Please. Ask. Ask your parents, ask your siblings, ask your friends, ask your neighbor. No one can do it alone. And sometimes it’s hard to ask. Hard to admit you need a break. Hard to admit you need a cup of coffee with an adult. Hard to admit that you need a darn shower. When our daughter was 6 months old, my husband was on tour for about 6 weeks. I asked no one for help. I was on summer vacation, so it was just me and her for weeks. Now in hindsight, I should have called a friend. Hired a sitter. Just once a week for a couple hours. I should have asked for a little help, I mean….what was I trying to prove?
Maintain Friendships with Women in Other Life Stages: It’s easy to forget those people isn’t it? The ones who don’t have kids yet. The ones with older kids. Your single girlfriends. But here’s the deal, they have a totally different and totally valid perspective. And sometimes, we need that. Someone needs to remind you that it’s not all about potty training and play dates. Someone needs to force you to go out to drinks with them so that you remember the old you…..the one that used to go out every Friday night and stay up past 10 pm. And guess what? They need you too.
Take a Girls Trip Once a Year: Do it. No husband and no kids. You’ll come back on cloud nine and your spouse will appreciate you more than he will after 6 months of lectures and complaints.
So, here’s my question……what resolutions do YOU think moms should make??? Welcome to Let it Shine…..the new, revamped Funday Monday! After two years….we decided to rename our link up to something we felt would be a better fit. Thus, Let it Shine! Why the name? Because we want this link up to be just that…..your chance to let it shine. We’ll be sharing our favs here each week and on social media……